WELCOME TO MY 100 DAY VIDEO JOURNAL CHALLENGE!

Why I created the 100 day video journal challenge:

I wasn't nearly as real or as engaging as I wanted to be on camera. I tried a few things, but nothing got down deep to the heart of the problem. In order to fix this I set myself a challenge. 10 minutes a day of speaking to the camera as candidly and as authentically as possible for 100 days.

In order to keep myself accountable I am sharing "blooper reels" of my daily video journal here.

This is where it gets tricky. In order for this exercise to work I have to believe that I am not being "watched". I can't think about whether or not something will be posted later. I get immediately self conscious when I know what I'm doing is a "final take". I do want to share my progress but I don't want to compromise my authenticity.

I'm using time to solve this issue. I will film 10 minutes of unselfconscious stream of consciousness unplanned babble every day. Out of that there will likely be a minute or two of footage that I won't mind sharing with you. Some bits will be silly, some will be boring, some will be vulnerable or angry. This is a direct link into my psyche and I'm not holding anything back.

Join the Video Journal Challenge! Join me and create a truly authentic relationship with your camera.

Not sure where to begin? Check out this post on conversation starters to get you and the camera chatting up a storm: 

CONVERSATION STARTERS

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FULL LIST OF VIDEOS IN REVERSE ORDER

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Editing became way too time consuming. So while I did finish filming the 100 day video challenge, I stopped posting when life got busy. So now that I'm doing the 2019 video challenge I'm posting this day last year, as a way to catch up and look at my progress.

DAY SIXTY FIVE - Accepting where I'm at

DAY SIXTY FOUR - Ending the cleans

DAY SIXTY THREE - Struggling with the idea of stoic professionalism

DAY SIXTY TWO - Grumpy stream of consciousness

DAY SIXTY ONE - First day outside without a coat

DAY SIXTY - Attempting a one-take video

DAY FIFTY NINE - Feeling tired and fulfilled after a long day

DAY FIFTY EIGHT - The realities of filming an online course

DAY FIFTY SEVEN - Nervous Day Ramble

DAY FIFTY SIX - 3rd Rock from the Sun

DAY FIFTY FIVE - Ugly Cry

DAY FIFTY FOUR - Dreaming up a Storm

DAY FIFTY THREE - Where is the Line?

DAY FIFTY TWO - Creative Constipation

DAY FIFTY ONE - Crisis of Confidence

DAY FIFTY - Oversharing on Pyjama Day

DAY FORTY NINE - Accepting Change

DAY FORTY EIGHT - Post Lab Glow

DAY FORTY SEVEN - Struggling to Prioritize

DAY FORTY SIX - Finally Feeling Good

DAY FORTY FIVE - Starting the Cleanse

DAY FORTY FOUR - First Night Out 2018

DAY FORTY THREE - Soooo Tired

DAY FORTY TWO - Proud of the New Office Layout

DAY FORTY ONE - A Truly Ridiculous day

DAY FORTY - Grumpy Tired and Anxious

DAY THIRTY NINE - Resisting Temptation

DAY THIRTY EIGHT - Perfect Day Conversation Starter

DAY THIRTY SEVEN - I'm Being Watched

DAY THIRTY SIX - Self Conversation Starters

DAY THIRTY FIVE - All Filmed Out

DAY THIRTY FOUR - New Lights and No Caffeine

DAY THIRTY THREE - Like the Song

DAY THIRTY TWO - Back to reality

Today is also the one month mark for the Video Journal Challenge! Woohooo! Only 69 days to go! 
A quick review of the year, health plans and the inevitability of yoga.

DAY THIRTY ONE - Happy New Year!

Today is also the one month mark for the Video Journal Challenge! Woohooo! Only 69 days to go! 
A quick review of the year, health plans and the inevitability of yoga.

DAY THIRTY - Stress and the new year

Still not feeling great. Frustrated with myself. Making plans to do better.

DAY TWENTY NINE - SO GLAD to be home

This is the last time you will have to deal with a wobbly phone and bad lighting. I swear.

DAY TWENTY EIGHT - Home safe

Mostly me bitching about Greyhound. Next time we fly, I don't care how much it costs.

DAY TWENTY SEVEN - An Atheist at Christmas

A very sleepy recording. Trying to work out the line between respect, cultural appropriation and non-believer rights. VERY quiet because people are sleeping.

DAY TWENTY SIX - OUTSIDE!

I finally gathered the strength (and got the timing right) to do a video outside. If the camera is a bit wobbly that's because I'm shivering. Brrrr!

DAY TWENTY FIVE - Angry Christmas

That thumbnail is my manic angry face. Why can't we all just get along?

DAY TWENTY FOUR - Family holidays

Christmas Eve on the stairs. It was hard to find a place in the house that didn't have a lot of background noise. Floundering a bit.

DAY TWENTY THREE - All the emotions

I'm still working on the lighting. Bear with me, my resources are limited.
I feel like today I finally relaxed after holding it together (well, mostly) during the trip so a whole bunch of emotions came out and you know what? I think emotions are wonderful! So as scary as it was to post this, I feel like if I'm not willing to show my mess, how am I going to encourage others to be OK with theirs?

DAY TWENTY TWO - Arrived safely

Recording on the bed, exhausted from the trip. Experiencing technical difficulties on the farm. I got on the bus in Calgary in tears, couldn't sit next to Mattias, but the guy I did sit next to was really nice and offered me one of his Christmas cookies when he saw my face. Thanks for making the last leg of the trip bearable Michael from Calgary. :)

DAY TWENTY ONE - Editing Hell

No only was the trip to Saskatchewan hellish, but the editing of the video was a close second. I had dreams about this being a fun video, but the sound is bad, the editing is sub-par and I'm pretty self-conscious in my delivery. I'll do my best to improve the experience on the way back to Vancouver.

DAY TWENTY - Tired but ready

Warm snow?!? 
A 1am recording on my computer camera after packing and preparing for the trip. Very quiet so as not to wake Mattias. Busy packing / organizing / travelling brain.

DAY NINETEEN - Hyped UP!

Super stoked and a bit emotional after finishing day three of Unleash Your Voice (last one of the year, so sad). Making big plans on how I can improve myself and use this challenge to do it.

DAY EIGHTEEN - Raw and vulnerable

Feeling a bit shy and awkward today. Will tell you about the Steveston market some other time.

DAY SEVENTEEN - Feeling awkward

Feeling a bit shy and awkward today. Will tell you about the Steveston market some other time.

DAY SIXTEEN - Self care day

Mattias and I took a self-care day today. He went for a float, we both went for a massage. I learned stuff. I think how good I feel comes across in the video. It's longer because I wanted to keep all of it, I was having so much fun! Thanks for listening internet. I feel like this relationship is really blossoming.

DAY FIFTEEN - Warning: there is singing

How the Cranberries shaped my life, and subsequently my extreme disappointment with Dr Martens and oh how a part of me longs for my angsty teens before I realized how damn pretentious I was and had to give it all up to be sane.

DAY FOURTEEN - Stressing OUT

That image is me trying to flatten my brain in order to fit more in there. I'm getting really sick of listening to myself talk about all the things I should do instead of doing them so as of tomorrow I'm going to give myself conversation starters so the next 86 days aren't just me stressing at you.​

DAY THIRTEEN - Why did I not check my hair?

A perfect example of why I shouldn't film first thing in the morning. Still half asleep in this video. Apologies for the low energy. Lots of silence in this one. I did an extra dramatic intro to liven things up a bit.

DAY TWELVE - 2018 dreaming

A lot of today's video was confidential business musings, but I've shared what I can. Was feeling very glow-y after the intro workshop.

DAY ELEVEN - Laundry day

Rambling about chores, house guests, acting methodologies and multitasking.

DAY TEN - Yummy goals

Witness my hideous time management skills. How much can she get done by Jan 15th 2018? Only a portion of what she's planned I bet. Time will tell.​..

DAY NINE - Pizza places, silly singing and so much distraction

Oh my! So much silliness! I decided to take advantage of the lights that were set up from our resource video shoot so I recorded my diary while Melody and Jen were packing up the equipment. I do apologize for the sound quality. It was hard to concentrate, but it was also a great challenge to stay focussed. Lots of silliness and distraction and being aware of when people are laughing at (with) me. A bit of a ramble about going out for pizza and some singing at the end because, well, why not? Singing calms me down when I'm feeling jittery.

DAY EIGHT - Childhood memory of a toy named Flump

A bit squirmy today. Need to get used to standing as I don't want to vlog sitting down anyway. Feeling a bit silly too. Mattias being in the room on the couch while I was filming might have had something to do with that...​

DAY SEVEN - All about my bookcase

I'm starting to get sick of the sound of my voice. Tried a different background to keep things interesting. I have to keep reminding myself it's not about being interesting, it's about being real. Get real down first. Interesting comes later.

DAY SIX - Chatty event updates

Best lighting yet came from a conference room at the Sheraton Guildford. Who knew? Sorry if the editing is sloppier than usual. I was literally falling asleep while editing and exporting this. Zzzzz

DAY FIVE - Work on the brain

Tired after facilitating a workshop. Talking shop mostly.

DAY FOUR - Things got bleak

​I cut this a little longer so it'd have a chance to come up out of the pit. It's tough for me to share feeling like this, but I think it's good for me. We tend to only share our best selves online and that's not realistic and it puts a lot of pressure on us to stay that together all the time. Maybe forcing myself to do this will even allow me to own my mess in my everyday life more and not need to hide from the world on a depressive day.

DAY THREE - Screw that! I can do whatever I want with my face!

Ooooh! Echoey new space! I guess I'll be taking this project on the road come Christmas Holiday times. Just a short one for you today. Most of the footage was unwatchable.

DAY TWO - Oversharing about my journal fetish

​I talked waaaay too much about my journal fetish today. Might make a separate video just about that...
​Today felt good though. It felt real. Intimate. Watching it back I realized that I really have no idea what I'm like when I'm being real. I know how it FEELS but I don't know what it looks like, because I'm never on the other side. I got my partner to watch the whole thing with me (thank you Mattias) and he says it's a pretty accurate representation of the real me, so that feels good.

DAY ONE - ​A fast descent from mundane to crazy

Wow. This really was a descent into my neurosis. Fun times.